You look good...

For having four kids.

How do I gently explain that, even with the best intentions that isn't exactly the best way to word that?  This phrase is generally uttered by someone I haven't seen in a long time, or worse yet, someone who has significantly fewer (read: NONE) children than I do.

Do I only look good if the "for having four kids" is added to the statement.  If I had only one child, would I look like a train wreck?  If I had not yet had children, would I be a disgrace to mankind?  Would people talk about me behind my back about how I have let myself go?  If I wasn't carting a Suburban full of kids with me, would everyone wonder how many children I had given birth to to put my appearance in such a horrendous shape?

I understand the sentiment, I think.  I have gained and lost 60lbs a year for the last four years. The majority of the gain and loss was primarily in my abdomen, which somehow manages to still remain reasonably flat and allows me to button most of my jeans.  Wearing most of my clothing, bathing suits excluded, I am fairly presentable.  But, no, don't invite me to the beach for Spring Break, I simply cannot compete with scantily clad beauties in bathing suits that resemble dental floss.  I can build a mean sand castle though.

My poor boobs have varied from barely there to Bunny quality (sometimes overnight!), leaving me with an extensive bra collection in a wide variety of sizes, as well as a lot of extra skin and stretch marks there!  They have suffered the wrath of nursing four babies for a year or more a piece, through feeding difficulties, teething, infections, and nursing strikes.  Fortunately, nothing a WonderBra hasn't been able to fix.

My face has lines and dents in places that were buttery smooth before, but most of that is because I just hadn't smiled enough before any of my children were born.  My hair is short, frayed, and what hasn't fallen out is mostly gray.  That doesn't really affect my ability to change a poopy diaper in the dark or kiss a boo-boo, so I guess no harm done there just yet.

My hands are a bit chapped from multiple washings a day and my nails haven't seen polish applied by anyone over the age of 6 in a while.  But, I wear my purple sparkles with almost as much pride as the little girl who painted them for me.

My clothes are frequently wrinkled, and I often find a small sock or Dora underwear in my sleeve while standing in line at the grocery store.  I have passed the time where I smelled of designer perfume or fragrant lotions and now I walk around emitting the aura of baby vomit, and am generally sporting a variety of toddler snot, ketchup, and (thanks to Levi) blood.  My kids are well dressed each morning on their way to school.

When I get up each morning and get out of the shower, catching a glimpse in the mirror could be disappointing or frustrating, but then again, I generally don't have time to look in the mirror while getting four kids ready each day.  Nor do I have hours to spend at the gym, unless it is watching my kids wrestling, dance, play basketball....

I guess for having only four kids, I'm doing okay.  

And by the way, "You look pretty good too, for not having any kids."