Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Kids, life and stuff

Kids, jobs, and being a grown up

Okay, so some of this is just late night rambling, but I have this overwhelming urge to share. In the past few months I have received a gagillion (yep, that many) birth announcements, "look at our baby" emails, and newspaper clippings from my mother, highlighting the newest additions to the families, engagements, graduations, and other life time accomplishments of my friends. Both those I am near and dear to, and some of you who fall into the "long lost" category. All of this has made me start thinking, and remembering, and dreaming.
First and foremost, damn we are old! I saw a girl at Ollie's tonight with '10 on the sleeve of her letter jacket. 2010, are you kidding me!?! As I listened to her tell the other young girl next to here about how horrible her English teacher was for assigning SOOOO much reading for one week, I thought to myself that it seemed like literally yesterday I was in high school myself. Football games, study hall, PFT and FTKJF (if you were there, you know what I am talking about!), skipping class, crazy lunch periods, after school sports practices, and the overall experience. I was abruptly thrust back into reality by my 5 year old tugging on my sleeve to alert me to the fact that my 1 year old was wandering away. I would not change a thing about my life right now (well, maybe the size of my butt, but you get my point). But, where did all that time go? I distinctly remember rolling my eyes when my mother told me it would all be gone before I knew it!
And then, furthering my wandering thoughts, what does that girl think about my life? Does she just see me as the weird lady in her pajama pants, puke stains down the back of my black hoodie, trying to mantain some semblence of calm while surrounded by 4 kids whom are all anxiously awaiting their ice cream dessert? Does she realize that it wasn't that long ago I was in her shoes? That in what seems like a blink of an eye, she will be the one reading emails and cooing over the pictures of a friend's new born baby? With that same friend, she will look at pictures from high school when she SWORE she was just "too fat" only to dream she could look like that again. That she, too, may decide one night that it is much more important to take her children out for ice cream then it is to do her hair, or put on a more "presentable" outfit?
And, my mind wandering back to my own life, what about those people who I never saw as parents? Shit, to be honest I never saw a few of them as contributing members of society, (unless you count picking up trash on the highway in an orange jump suit contributing). Some of them have grown up to be great parents, spouses, co-workers, aunts, uncles, and FRIENDS. They have beautiful families, successful careers, homes with backyards and picket fences. How awesome is that?
Even more, some of my friends are doing awesome things that I never even dreamed of. Living in different states, different countries, doing important jobs, making a difference! I get to hear their stories, live vicariously through them, and celebrate their successes.
Somewhere between freshman geography class and the ten year anniversary of our HS graduation, we became adults. Good adults. We suffered some pretty shitty losses. Some of us didn't make it to this side. Some of us came out better than others. Some are still struggling to get here, wherever "here" might be. I am proud to say that most of you reading this have made this journey with me. You are my friends and family, the people who made me who I am today. Some of you played a bigger part than others, some of you played a bigger part than you might ever know.
I hope my message is clear, even if the delivery was a bit muddy. Please keep those emails, announcements, and newpaper clippings coming. I am so happy that you all have graced my life in one way or another. I remember fondly the times when I was younger, thinner, free-er. But I am focusing, and I hope you are too, on the now. These times, too, will go by quicker than we know. In ten years I am certain I will long for the day that a trip out for icecream with me is all my kids wanted. The puke stained shirt of the woman in front of me will make me think and remember and dream.